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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Sam 19 Iul 2008, 20:46

Poza ii misto ca idee dar parca sunt doua poze diferite transformate in una.
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Sam 19 Iul 2008, 21:22

Chiar sunt doua poze, in reflectia de pe avion se poate vedea aeroportul Laughing
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Sam 19 Iul 2008, 23:31

Heaven a scris:
Chiar sunt doua poze, in reflectia de pe avion se poate vedea aeroportul Laughing

Buuuuun inseamna ca nu sunt asa de afectat de insolatie pe cum am crezut si asta chiar daca echilibru ii cam precar.
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 00:22

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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 08:53

lol!
foarte tare

Lost student pilot: "Unknown airport with Cessna 150 circling overhead, identify yourself."
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aegean
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 10:03

Super tari,Red13! Wink
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Virusu
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 10:26

little planes be aware! Razz



trist...


scoala americana de aviatie va va transforma in cei mai buni piloti! veniti la noi sa aflati cum sa intra in cladiri, sau cum se poate spala avionul pe intrados mai usor! Smile)


Ultima editare efectuata de catre virusu in Vin 25 Iul 2008, 10:36, editata de 1 ori
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 10:28

a da, si niste adevaruri incontestabile lol!

FLYING TRUISMS

� When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough
power left to get you to the scene of the crash.

� Blue water Navy truism; There are more planes in the ocean than there are
submarines in the sky.

� Never trade luck for skill.

� The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are,
"Why is it doing that?"; "Where are we?" and " Ooh Shit!"

� Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.

� Progress in airline flying; Now a flight attendant can get a pilot
pregnant.

� Airspeed, altitude or brains. Two are always needed to successfully
complete the flight.

� A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row
is prevarication.

� I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

� Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!

� If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a
helicopter-and therefore, unsafe.

� Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the
purpose of storing dead batteries.

� Navy carrier pilots to Air Force pilots: Flaring is like squatting to pee.

� Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a
person on the ground incapable of understanding it or doing anything about
it.

� When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.

� Just remember, if you crash because of weather, your funeral will be held
on a sunny day.

� Advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II. When a prang (crash) seems
inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity
as slowly and gently as possible.

� The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill
you. (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)

� A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its
maximum. (Jon McBride, astronaut)

� If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash
as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic pilot)

� If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it; ride the bastard
down. (Ernest K. Gann, author & aviator)

� Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death I Shall Fear No Evil For I am at
80,000 Feet and Climbing (sign over the entrance to the SR-71 operating
location Kadena, Japan).

� You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3. (Paul F.
Crickmore - test pilot)

� Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you.

� There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime (sign over
squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970).

� The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a
good bowel movement. The night carrier landing is one of the few
opportunities in life where you get to experience all three at the same
time. (Author unknown, but someone who's been there)

� "Now I know what a dog feels like watching TV." (A DC-9 captain trainee
attempting to check out on the 'glass cockpit' of an A-320).

� What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a
pilot screws up, the pilot dies; if ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

� Without ammunition the USAF would be just another expensive flying club.

� If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.

� Basic Flying Rules
1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
2. Do not go near the edges of it.
3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground,
buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to
fly there.

� You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power
to taxi to the terminal.
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 25 Iul 2008, 17:53

virusu a scris:
� The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are,
"Why is it doing that?"; "Where are we?" and " Ooh Shit!"

hai sa mai pun una:
Watch this!

si doua din preferatele mele:

The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark… and I didn’t land.”

Elicopterele nu zboara datorita portantei, nici pentru ca le respinge pamantul; ele zboara datorita banilor!
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Red13
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Lun 04 Aug 2008, 11:03

(atentie la callsign)

CZQM: "Nova 895 contact Moncton on 127.12"
ARN871: "Over to 127.12, for Nova 871. We'll talk to you later."
CZQM: "Maybe sooner than you think."
(a few seconds pass...)
ARN871: "Uh, Moncton, they didn't want to talk to us on 127.12..."
CZQM: "See what I mean?"

---

Tower: 95 Delta, do you read the tower?
95D: 675, sir
Tower: 95 Delta, Say Again
95D: I think it is 675.
Tower: 95 Delta, What do you mean by 675?
95D: I mean I think I read "Elevation 675 feet" on the tower as I taxied by for takeoff, but I am too far away to read it now.
Tower: 95 Delta, you are cleared to land. Please give the tower a call ON THE TELEPHONE after you have tied down.
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Mar 05 Aug 2008, 15:47

Flight candy
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Mier 06 Aug 2008, 11:11

NU vreau sa fiu rautacios, dar trebuie sa va spun bancul acesta, probabil ca il cunoasteti deja:

Din ciclul..."Femeile cu slujba de barbat"
Ultima inregistrare audio receptionata de catre baza NASA de la Huston, venita in momentul intrarii in atmosfera a navetei Columbia a fost:
"-Nu apasa butonul acela idioato!!!"
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Joi 07 Aug 2008, 12:41

Cayenne a scris:
NU vreau sa fiu rautacios, dar trebuie sa va spun bancul acesta, probabil ca il cunoasteti deja:

Din ciclul..."Femeile cu slujba de barbat"
Ultima inregistrare audio receptionata de catre baza NASA de la Huston, venita in momentul intrarii in atmosfera a navetei Columbia a fost:
"-Nu apasa butonul acela idioato!!!"
executat curatenia sa ne putem concentra asupra bancului cu femei...
cam sadic totusi Razz
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Mier 13 Aug 2008, 10:18

A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Airport noticed a really beautiful
woman
sitting next to him. He thought to himself: 'Wow, she's so gorgeous she
must
be an off duty flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?'

Hoping to make her acquaintance, he leaned towards her and uttered the
Delta
slogan: 'Love to fly and it shows?'

She gave him a blank, confused stare and he immediately thought to
himself:
Damn, she doesn't work for Delta.'

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. He leaned towards
her
again 'Something special in the air?'

She gave him the same confused look. He mentally kicked himself, and
scratched Singapore Airlines off the list.

Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: 'Smooth as Silk.'

This time the woman turned on him, 'What the fuck do you want?'

The man smiled, then slumped back in his chair, and said, 'Ahhhhh, Air
Canada!'
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Joi 14 Aug 2008, 22:31

=)) lol! 10 bancul!!!
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Joi 14 Aug 2008, 23:46

Genial Laughing lol!
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gaudi
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 00:03

Dap. Super tare Smile
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 01:21

S-ar potrivi si pentru US Airways...
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nrares
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 02:27

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 12:05

Foarte tari daca sunt pe bune... lol!
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horizob
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 12:56

Acum, după ce mi-am șters lacrimile, am respirat într-o pungă de hârtie să-mi revin și am trimis ca mass la toată lumea din lista mea de mess, vreau să-l felicit pe nrares pentru că ne-a împărtăși gluma. Superb, magnific. Și dacă nu sunt adevărate, tot sunt mortale. Într-adevăr australienii sunt recunoscuți pentru umorul lor.
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Vin 15 Aug 2008, 13:22

=))))))))))))))))))))
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horizob
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Lun 25 Aug 2008, 00:04

Puteți ghici varianta corectă la această întrebare de pe A.net aircraft foto recognition quiz? Pe bune, chiar așa mi s-a întrâmplat!
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Lun 25 Aug 2008, 00:09

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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aegean
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Lun 25 Aug 2008, 00:53

As vrea si eu sa am bafta asta la examene Laughing
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MesajSubiect: Re: Umor aviatic   Astazi la 21:51

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